Jamaica

By far, Jamaica is the most beautiful country I’ve visited. I’ll admit that I was a little skeptical about visiting because I’ve heard so many stories in regards to strangers approaching you and trying to sell you weed (I think that’s creepy lol), or strangers trying to get you to marry them for a US passport AND I’ve hear horror stories about people visiting for vacation, having sex with someone, and leaving with HIV. I’ve legit NEVER heard a thorough ‘great” story about vacationing in Jamaica. Before I went to study in Morocco, my father wouldn’t stop talking about all the horrible stories he heard that happen in conservative countries. But, when I actually visited, I experienced NOTHING he described! So, for Jamaica, I figured it was best for me to visit, form my own opinion, and have fun.

We arrived in Ocho Rios around 9am via cruise ship. But Immediately, we were met with a frenzy of unorganized mess. Our ship dock lead to a parking lot filled with Norwegian Cruise line excursions and 20 different taxi’s and vans from Jamaican tourist companies; Oh yeah, it was also 90 degrees with no overcast. I was instantly annoyed with everyone and everything. People were surrounding me, asking if I wanted a tour, or to go to the beach, or Dunn’s water fall; all while taxi’s and vans were coming in and out all around us. My anxiety turned into confusion which turned into immediate anger because I didn’t understand what the hell was going on around us. So, as a group, we decided to pay $40/person for a tour of Ocho Rios with a local tourist company named Michael’s Tours.

My main concern was our safety during this trip, and I felt quite uncomfortable choosing a local company for a tour over a tour booked through our cruise line. For starters, I didn’t want to get cheated out of my money for being a tourist (this happened to me in Marrakech and Shanghai), I didn’t want to get robbed or assaulted (unfortunately, this happened to me in Shanghai) and I didn’t want to get kidnapped and held for ransom or forced into human trafficking (this is my constant concern when I travel). Soooo, I didn’t want to take this damn tour unless it was through Norwegian. Call me dramatic or unnecessary all you want, I really don’t care. I care about my safety whether I’m visiting a new country, or walking to the corner store.

But, my group still wanted to take a tour with a local tourist company, and I didn’t want to be alone, so we paid the fee and boarded a white van. In total, there was possibly 15 passengers, but they all weren’t included in the tour of Ocho Rios. Everyone was getting dropped off at a different location along the way.

Once the tour started, the first thing I noticed was the traffic. There are multiple cruise ships that doc in Ocho Rios daily, so traffic gets backed up every time a ship docs. But, this traffic went on for milessss. Check out the time lapse on my Instagram page for a quick visual. Driving in the opposite direction of traffic, I saw a few people choosing to walk to the beach or into the city, rather than paying for a taxi, and almost every group was stopped by a local waiting around the corner or down the street. Naturally, this seemed sketchy asf, but I later realized that they were just trying to sell weed to tourists lol. Our first stop and dropoff was the nearest public beach, which looked sketchy, but I could tell it was local tourist bait. This beach was very, very, very small and truthfully didn’t look like a real beach at all. But, I wasn’t going, so I truthfully didn’t care. After a couple got out of the van and our tour guide was giving them instructions (everyone he drops off, he picks up at different specified times in specific areas). While he was giving out instructions, another man approached our van very discreetly and tried to sell weed to an old couple in our party. This was hilarious because they weren’t understanding what he was saying/selling, so they were having a WHOLE conversation about what exactly the guy was trying to sell. He didn’t walk away until our tour guide came back and asked him to leave LOL.

This is when our tour actually began, and I became more relaxed and comfortable with our tour guide. To be honest, it’s hard to be angry, anxious or stressed when you’re in a place as beautiful as Ocho Rios. It was 90 degrees outside, but it wasn’t too hot where we became uncomfortable or sticky; and there were beautiful LARGE trees everywhere.

We drove to Mammee Bay road, which is located on a beautiful estate filled with palm trees, beautiful large white buildings, long drive ways, and Mongeese… Mongoose… Mongooses… Anyway, we were told that this community has 900 rooms in total and wealthy lawyers + doctors mainly live in the area. I instantly fell in love with this community. It was quiet, there was this salty breeze coming from the ocean, the view of the ocean was one of a kind, and you can never go wrong with white stoned buildings and palm trees! We didn’t have time to drive through the entire estate, only Drax Hall, but here‘s a time lapse of a small part of the estate.

Driving out of the estate and to our next destination, we got a quick history lesson about Jamaica from our guide. One thing that I found absolutely interesting, is that Jamaica refused to do business with McDonalds. The food chain wanted to open stores on the Island, but wanted to import their own producers from the US. Apparently, this isn’t allowed when choosing to do business with Jamaica. You have to utilize Jamaican goods, not import what you need and want. I’m not sure if this is fully true, but it was interesting to learn. Something else that was interesting is how they’re hospitals are built. In the US, our hospitals are build out and upwards. But, we toured the outside area of a hospital that was built maybe 3 stories high, and completely outwards. At first sight, I was questioning if I was truly looking at a hospital, but then I learned that I wasn’t seeing the whole picture.

We then continued out tour upwards. We first passed buy a tree named “Old Man’s Spirit” and it was absolutely GORGEOUS! The tree’s branches and leaves were hanging downward like a weeping willow, except it was less green in color and more brown. It looked exactly like an older mans head full of dread locs hanging downward. This is where the Island became more beautiful, and I became more relaxed by the second. As the van carried on uphill, I witnessed an endless amount of greenery that seemed to go on for miles until I caught glimpse of a white house on the top of hill. You guys, It was Mick Jaggers house! You know who I’m talking about? The man with the jaw, hair and he can dance? Yes, him! But, more importantly, I also saw the home Diana Ross used to own! Now, I know you know who Diana Ross is, so I’m not gonna describe her!

As we’re still driving up hill, we come across a group of people trying to sell different trinkets, bags, weed and swimsuits. There was this one particular male who ran up to my window and tried to sell me a brown figurine of a male with a rather large penis (I believe a sex totem)…. It was rude, yet hilarious because for a second, I thought the young man trying to sell me this figure was Lil Uzi.

Our tour stopped momentarily at a bar where other tourists where, and we had a great view of the ocean, our docked cruise ship and Mick Jagger’s house. The bar was equipped with a DJ booth, an open patio, and a pretty large back yard. From there we danced to American mainstream reggae mixed music (like Drake saying “ting” over a beat or Nicki Minaj’s Mega Tron). Of the 30 minutes we had at the bar, I spent my time soaking in the view. From how far up hill we were, I could actually see the Atlantic ocean and Caribbean sea meet. I’ve always wanted to witness two bodies of water meet but never mix, so I was excited to check another experience off of my bucket list.

After drinking, dancing, taking pictures and going to the bathroom it was time for our tour to continue one. Our van traveled downward and again we were surrounded by a large forest area of trees and greenery. There was a man in a large and colorful flower costume dancing in front of cars for pictures and other locals trying to sell us weed. Here’s a video of the area.

As our tour was coming to an end, we got a few more pictures in front of the ocean, learned more facts about Jamaica and the different fruits they harvest, and then drove past their schools. It was mid day, so students were leaving school and walking home, but the first thing I noticed were their uniforms. My first impression made me feel a little weird. The boys uniforms reminded me of an army generals uniform. Not like The Commandant in Beats of No Nation, but like Colonel Oliver in Hotel Rwanda. It made my stomach feel weird knowing that this was my first thought, but that feeling slowly went away as I watched children playing outside, buying juice from food stands, and a few high school lovers. The area in general felt very innocent and loving.

At the end of our tour, we were dropped off at this tourist shopping center. I purchased a few trinkets and a bottle of Jamaican Black Castor Oil (my favorite winter oil!). Then, we sat down for lunch! Now, my grandfather was born in Trinidad and Tobago, so I know a little bit about some Caribbean dishes (mainly, the ones I love), so I came to Jamaica simply wanting a beef patty and nothing else. How about, I couldn’t find any in the area I was at! We eventually sat down to eat at this outdoor restaurant, and I made a fool of myself looking for a beef patty. I saw a menu item called “festival” and I didn’t fully read what it was. I honestly stopped reading when I read the word “dough” so immediately I start thinking “maybe they don’t call it beef patties here.” Ya’ll, I asked the waitress if a Festival was like a beef patty and she wouldn’t stop laughing at me. She laughed so hard she could have cried. I just wanted a beef patty, some plantains and to get out this damn heat! So, while everyone else ate rice and oxtails, I ate a Festival stick and plantains. Now, I never had oxtails before (I’m not an adventurous eater. So, if my grandmom never made it, I ain’t trying it!), but it smelled sooooo good! So I tried a piece….. and instantly fell in love. Like, leave it up to me to try something new for the first time in the Caribbean. Since that day I haven’t stopped thinking about oxtails and I know if I order some in Vermont, the lack of seasoning will piss me off!

After stuffing my face with plantains, we waited outside the shopping area for our tour guide to pick us up and take us to our ship. While waiting, an argument broke out between two store owners. Naturally, I was minding my damn business, until one of the store owners walked passed me and yelled “Support black people! Buy from the black market!” and then walked off. It was then that I realized the owners of the trinket shop we made our purchases from was Asian, not black. The owner telling us to support black businesses, was upset to see groups of black people not giving their money to black owned stores. In our defense, we didn’t know who owned the store. We were dropped off by our tour guide.

After standing around and waiting for 20 minutes, our tour van came back, we jumped in the van and drove back to our cruise ship. Walking on to the doc, there were three men banging on drums and two women wearing bright orange dresses dancing (Here’s a video). It was then that I realized, I didn’t want to leave this Island. There was so much more that I wasn’t able to see and experience. Dishes I wanted to eat, and to be honest, I wanted to party! I will definitely be visiting again soon for at least a week (specifically to eat some oxtails!). Since coming home, I’ve had the travel bug to book a flight back to Jamaica, mainly because of how beautiful Lori Harvey, Ryan Destiny, Jordan Woods, Normani, Winnie Harlow and Teyana Taylor looked in Jamaica this past week! God willing, one day I’ll be able to get up, book a same day flight and fly to Jamaica for a weekend getaway.

On a scale of one to ten, I’ll rate Jamaica as a clean ten. The beauty of the island alone is a ten! The only mistake I made while visiting, is visiting via cruise ship. I didn’t get a chance to really eat the local food, go to the beach, visit the waterfalls, go to a party or festival or visit a museum. Everything I would have done, I didn’t get the chance to actually do. If you ever plan on visiting Jamaica, I highly suggest a week long vacation. Trust me, you’ll want to spend at least three days soaking in the greenery, the sun, the ocean, the breeze, the trees and the FOOD.

Below are a few things I learned on my tour:

• Jamaica gained their independence from England in 1962 (307 years of colonization). But, in 1655, they island was captured by England from Spain.
• Like most colonized countries who gain independence, they still do things the British way, like:
  • Driving on the left side of the road
  • Student uniforms
• Environment wise, the country uses natural gas, low sulfur diesel and plastic bags + straws are banned
• A hurricane hasn’t hit the Island in over 12 years
• The yellow in their flag represents the 300 days if sunshine the Island gets annually
  • To utilize this blessing, they use solar power in the sunniest areas
  • In the southern part of the Island, they use wind power due to strong winds
• The island is made of Limestone which gets exported for the use of calcium in tooth paste and cement for construction
  • Speaking of construction, many parts of Ocho Rios was under development!
• Their national fruit is an Ackee
  • Cooked with salt fish
  • Opens naturally
  • If you force it open from a tree, it’ll spray out poison
• Football and cricket are the countries biggest sports
• You can see the Atlantic Ocean and Caribbean sea meet. But, they don’t mix
• Goats are like cats
• Their national tree is Lignum Vitae
  • Not a common tree
  • furniture made from this tree is dumb expensive
• They produce Blue Mountain coffee
  • Crazy expensive
  • Rare
• Royal Caribbean has it’s own cruise theme called Jam Rock and it’s the “Bob Marley Cruise”
• Grade school hours are split between 7am – mid day, and mid day to 5pm
• They have the most churches per square mile and bars in the world
  • Beside every church is a bar lol

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